Sunday, January 31, 2016
Entry #2
Hello fellow bloggers, Its me Juan-two-three. Today on my way back home from Church, I saw a Billboard about indoor skydiving. I consider myself a person that likes to try new sports or hobbies. This indoor skydiving fell right into the description. The only issue was that this facility is in Eloy, Az which is about an hour from my sweet beloved city of Phoenix. In order to go, I need to set up a road trip and convince my friends to come along with. Hopefully I can make this trip happen, I'll keep you guys posted. I am off to save people, hopefully not any indoor skydivers. Stay safe!
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Juan--You have some good points for discussion and some good visual appeal. Keep working to engage your audience with development of support for your points, your lead in, and more discussion. Say more. Write more. Edit carefully. You feel brief and rushed.
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